Xenophobia: Daisuke no Insaidosutoorii
by Vain
Summary: The companion piece to "Quondam Fool." Katarikuchi Collection Exhibit 1: Angsty Daisuke. Heroic ? Ken. And so it all falls apart.


**_Xenophobia_**

**~ Daisuke no Insaidosutoorii ~**

~ Vain 09.01-18.2002

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I do not own Digimon, Ken, Daisuke, or weebles.  This story is mine, the plot is mine, and you can blame the Guardian for it. This is the companion piece to "**Quondam Fool," (but you don't have to read QF to understand what's going on) and is the first part in a series of short stories collectively titled the ****_Katarikuchi_****_ Collection.  _**

Special kudos to Herongale for her mad beta-ing skills.  

Please Read and Review 

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**Exhibit One - Motomiya Daisuke-san:**

It's really, really, really annoying, you know?  I mean how everyone thinks I don't understand stuff . . . See what's going on around me.  It really pisses me off.  I mean, I _know I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but that doesn't mean I'm not eating with a full set of chopsticks._

Especially when it comes to Ken.

I look over at you all and see you sitting there pale under the bright hospital lights wondering what happened, wondering why I won't answer your questions, and all I can think is: You wouldn't get it.  And I'm not just sayin' that.  You guys really wouldn't get it.  You don't know Ken like I do.  Besides, you already seem to be so determined to take Maitake's side over mine—over Ken's, so why should I tell you the truth?

He's like . . . He's . . . well, he's kinda scary.  But he doesn't really mean any of it.  Everyone thinks that I'm such a little kid, but Ken's even worse than I am.  He doesn't _understand things the way a normal person does.  Iori says that he's crazy._

I heard him.  You all think I don't listen to you, but I do.  I see Hikari-chan whispering in Miya's ear.  I see the way TK looks at him when he thinks no one's watching.  The way Iori glares.  I see all that stuff.

You guys are the ones who don't understand.  Who don't _see._

How was I supposed to know that Maitake would be waiting there?  How was I supposed to know that Ken would come?  And besides, it was just a little over-reaction.  A _tiny misjudgment in force or a lack of coordination or something, I'm sure.  Okay, maybe I didn't see it because I was too busy trying to stop the bleeding, but Ken would never do anything like that for real.  He just . . . forgot himself.  _

He's the Child of Kindness for Heaven's sake!

Remember Thundermon?  You remember how you all forgot that he saved Iori and all you could talk about was how he killed "that poor digimon?"  I remember.  And I remember that he had a damn good reason for it too!  But you guys—and by you, I mean _you, Miyako!—refused to listen to me.  _

And what was with changing sides in the middle of the stream . . . er, whatever that saying is, Takeru?  One day you want to be his best friend and then the next you suddenly think he's gone all Kaiser-Psycho again?  What was that all about?  Was it because of Thundermon?  Did that remind you of the things you and Taichi-sempai and Hikari-chan had to do back then?  Were you angry at him for that?

And Miya . . . One day you're fantasizing about marrying him and then you find out he isn't your perfect dream and you're ready to give him the boot?  I had to have run all over the school to find you guys that day and you wouldn't even listen to me!  Did you imagine that it was because he hurt you somehow?  Because you had some stupid crush on him?  

Well, let me tell you this: he hurt me _way worse than he's ever hurt any of you!  But you never saw any of that.  Taichi-sempai and Yamato-sempai were there for me, not you.  Not my friends.  And the whole time all I could think then was "__why?"  _

He must have been in so much pain to run so far away that he forgot himself like that.  But you never see that—_never know what to look for._

Hikari-chan.  You pity me, I think.  At first I think you pitied me for loving you.  Now I think you pity me for loving him.  I don't _need your pity, 'Kari.  I never needed it.  Or maybe it was just that you never needed me.  Ken needs me.  Needs me to hold him at night.  Tell him what's okay and what's not.  But that isn't why I love him._

He slept over last weekend.  I know you all think we've been messing around, even Taichi-sempai, but we haven't.  Hell, last week was the first time we've slept in the same bed, let alone any of that.  And he told me . . . he told me "I love you, Daisuke."  He said it like it was a secret.  

I keep telling myself I'm going to kiss him soon.  He won't make the first move.  He treats me like I'm gonna break sometimes.  It's kinda nice.  He didn't go to sleep for a while—woke me up with his unhappiness, frightened me with it.  But I wasn't afraid of him.  I was afraid for him.

Maybe you're right, Iori.  Maybe he is crazy.  Just a little bit.  I dunno; maybe I'm a little bit crazy, too.  But he's so much better when he's with me.  When we're alone, he's not cold and dominant or quiet and frightened of breathing 'cause he might break something.  He's . . . beautiful.  I wish you guys could see it.  Could understand it.  Then you'd know why I love him so much.

He's a part of me.  The best, the worst.  My everything.  I know I love him.  I told Jun this—she understands so much more than you'd think.  I mean, sure, she's a troll and has all the brains of a pumpkin, but she's my _sister.  She's known me longer than any of you.  She . . . Understands me.  She understands how I feel a bout Ken.  She's jealous, even if she doesn't say anything.  But she approves and is happy for me._

More so than you guys are.  

You're more worried about who's gonna hurt who first.  Miya and Iori . . . I know that you're waiting for Ken to hurt me so you have an excuse.  You'll never forgive him for not loving you, will you Miyako?  Iori . . . why do you hate him so much?  You can hardly claim to be normal yourself.  Yeesh, kid.  Personally, I think you're pretty damn creepy.  But I wish you'd just get over it.  Hikari, Takeru . . . I know that you glare at my back when I throw my arm over his shoulder.  I know you hate what I have with him.  Takeru, you're simple.  I don't blame you for wanting Ken in your own frightened "I'm-not-really-gay" way, but I had thought better of you, Hikari-chan.  

I'm not going to mess this up.  And Ken . . . he's so _sweet.  I know he'll never hurt me.  Not even by accident.  This fight today is proof . . . He just wanted to protect me.  He really didn't mean to hurt Maitake so badly . . . he just got carried away.  He was so angry at him for messing with me . . ._

Maybe I shouldn't have told him.  I didn't think he'd actually ditch school and come to Odaiba just to make sure I'd be okay.  I didn't know he'd lose like that in front of all those people.  I mean this is Ken "the Rocket" Ichijouji we're talking about here!  Maitake started it, anyway.

I _told Maitake.  I warned him.  He really didn't need to break my nose and dislocate my shoulder.  Besides, as much as I like grass and dirt, I really don't enjoy the taste.  And he definitely should not have tried to pick on Ken.  Or Ken's hair.  I love the kid to death, but my Ken-chan has this weird paranoia about looking too girly.  I think he looks fine, but maybe I'm biased._

I really didn't think Ken would get so mad.  I almost forget what a temper he has . . .  He was only trying to defend me.  When he came running up, I was laying in the dirt and my nose was gushing like a fountain.  And I fucking _hurt.  What was he supposed to think when he saw my blood on Maitake's fist and heard him laughing?   It's not like you guys ever defended me.  You knew what was happening.  I called out to you after school.  Saw you avert your eyes, turn away, let you hair fall into you face.  Just because you can't see me doesn't mean I can't see you._

I thought we got over all this shit after BelialVandemon.  I guess I was wrong.

"Daisuke . . .?"

I mean . . . You all _knew that Maitake had been itching to pound me._

"Daisuke?"

And you just let him?  Well fuck that!

"Daisuke!"

"What?!" I choke as soon as the word leaves my throat, sending a ripple of pain through my entire head from my damaged nose.  Ouch.

Miyako glares down at me.  "The doctor says that we can go in and see Ken.  Are you coming or are you just gonna glare at the tiles all day?"

I really want to hurt you right now, Miya.  Instead my eyes flicker to the door and, sure enough, damn her, a doctor is standing there waiting for us.  I wonder if I'm gonna get in trouble when I get home.

I stand up carefully.  I really don't want to upset my nose, plus my shoulder is still sore.  I blink at the spots dancing in front of my eyes and smile at the doctor.  It hurts.  Damn you, Maitake, you deserve whatever it is that Ken did to you before Takeru and Taichi and Yamato-sempai pulled him off you.  

It takes a minute for my voice to work.  "He okay?"

The doctor smiles, but it's not a real expression and I don't find it very comforting.  

"You're friend will be just fine.  He got off luckier than you or your . . . other friend.  All Ichijouji-kun needed were some stitches in his hands and some antiseptic for his lips and eyebrow.  He certainly won't be punching anyone else for a while though."

Is it just me, or did he sound way too happy about that?  I grin a bit more anyway.  "I was worried.  You had him in there for so long . . ."

His beady little doctor eyes sharpen.  "I wanted to have a talk with Ichijouji-kun."  He pauses, like he's gonna say something and then changes his mind.  "I needed to confirm your story."

"It's not a story," I insist stubbornly.  "It's what happened."

He smiles at me and I grit my teeth.  This damn smile is making my jaw hurt.  

"Of course," he says as he turns away to lead us to Ken.  

Still smiling, always fucking smiling, I follow him, only vaguely aware of the others following me.  You people just don't understand, do you?  

I love him.

**_~ Fin_**

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